Pada hari Selasa, 9 Nov 2010, sekumpulan pelajar-pelajar bertuah dari PPUKM telah diberi kesempatan oleh Allah s.w.t untuk bersama-sama mengikuti program wacana ilmu; Our Role in Sex Related Issue Among Youth. Sebuah talk yang disampaikan oleh non other than, our beloved, Prof Harlina dari department O&G yang berlangsung dekat pukul 10 mlm di CUCMS. Sebagai salah seorang dari pelajar bertuah itu, disini, sy dgn rendah hatinya mengambil peluang keemasan ini (bak kata Prof Har) untuk menyampaikan mesej ttg kepentingan sex education among youth pada zaman ini. Walaubagaimanapun, mmg tak layak dan tak mampu bagi sy utk share 100% maupun 50% info yg diperolehi dari talk tersebut memandangkan isu ini ialah sebuah isu yg sgt besar & rumit utk sy rungkaikan sendiri. Namun, insyaAllah, apa yg dikongsi mampu, sedikit (jika tak banyak) menyampaikan mesej yg ingin Prof Har sampaikan pada kita semua.
For basic, we need to understand that youth nowadays experience a different exposure of than the youth in the past (zaman2 ibu bapa kita). In those days, by the time they reach puberty and all their sexual functions had matured, most of them will get married, some as soon as 15 years old. In other words they enter their young adults era way earlier compare to us. The youth now is experiencing a delay of this entrance process as long as 10-20 years, and this is where the problems started. During this time they need to fulfill their physiological/body, heart, mind, and spiritual needs which includes sex, the need to care and be cared or loved, to respect and be respected and some other things I forgot to jot down. This delay is causing internal conflict and to add up to that, youth these days experience difference in terms of:
- Advancement in technology (internet n website to access just about anything)
- Knowledge & exposure to violence (violence has become something so common & video games that promotes it is all over the place)
- Fragmented family (divorced parents)
- Knowledge & exposure to sexuality
- Neutral moral & religious view (religious view is becoming less prominent in shaping the society)
So can we really blame them for not being able to defend themselves from all these mind wars? Being young and defenseless, and to add up to that we have another big problem. Sex education… Many people don’t agree to promote sex education in fear of making things worst or thinking that they might be too young to know about it. But what happen when no one will tell them, with the hormonal imbalance and a curiosity bigger than the “cat”, they tend to explore it themselves. The problem with them exploring it is that they can never see the big picture of sexual activity. There are more to sex than the biological aspect of it. There’s the economical, political, and well a lot actually, but I didn’t have the chance to jot down (again), but basically, we all know; what should happen before it (marriage & commitement), during it, and after it (the consequence & complication), it’s a much larger issue. This “big picture” is what we want the public to realize. The problem with the public nowadays is that everyone have such negative perception towards the term sex, and if they have a “different” perception towards it, it would probably because of the “biological” aspect of it. So how can we deliver this important message with the environment acting so hostile towards it? This is where “our role” comes into play, to ensure that sex education is delivered in order to make people realize the big picture.
The goal is that, a healthy teen should:
- Appreciate their body
- Take responsibility of their own behavior
- Communicate effectively & respectfully
- Express love & intimacy in a way that is appropriate for their age
Some of the sex related issue that is happening nowadays is focusing a lot on the female role. It’s always the females, who will be blame for being sexy, not knowing how to take care of them, or being stupid. HELLO…! What about those flesh eating werewolf that keeps hunting for prey?! (Hoho… get a lil carried away there). Clearly in Surah An-Nur, ayat 30 comes before ayat 31 (please refer to your Quran), men should take care of their own “iman” first, and woman second. Women have nothing to do with their so called “weakness”. Anything the women wear, exposed, do, say or decide will be sentenced to them if they do not obey to Allah’s rule, not because they are making the men become “weak”.
The same goes for the ladies, if a handsome man come around with flowery words, its their own responsibility to avoid any unnecessary interaction with them, they cannot blame them for being handsome and flowery can they? In other words, your “iman” you take care of it yourself no matter who you are.
However, being a male, they have more responsibility towards the female. Male are supposed to be the protector of the females, to make sure they are safe from harm. Every “man” in this world should have this feeling of wanting to protect this delicate XX human being. That’s how high the standard of a “man” and that’s how precious a “woman” is. Therefore, ladies, you should feel safe when you are around these good men, not trying to run away from them because you’re too shy-shy cat with them and end up being surrounded by the less safe environment, and men, you should act more heroic when the ladies are around, don’t chicken yourself out and leave them all alone. That should be the basic interaction. But of course to every interactions between two unmarried male and female, there should boundaries that must be taken into great considerations.
Last but not least, be confident that the true “man” and “woman” of our life will be good if we are good and if not we will get the exact same as our type… so why waste time with the “coupling2 reaction” when Allah had already set our fate so fairly. Be who we want to be with, may our lives be filled with happiness and redha from Allah.
I apologize for I cannot possibly deliver the message any better than this, however I hope we can gain some benefit from this short but quite long sharing of information…
Peace be upon you